Mass effect the restarting
by firestarter09
Summary: a Shepard harem story so fucking original craziness is coming stop harem time
1. the restart

**Welcome to my harem story for mass effect there will be changes and stuff so yeah harem story fuck yeah no flames to any assholes out there no hateful reviews A****ny way here's the disclaimers I don't own anything beside the idea that helped make this story k it was my idea k this idea came to me after beating the series the catalyst lied to Shepard about the destroyer ending if you're wondering. Also will be using some of the transcript.**

"talking"

"_thinking_"

**...Line break...**

(Pov sheps)

"Ugh where am I I'm supposed to be dead.", said a very weak Shepard "hey asshole douche bag over here.",said a voice "hmm.".said Shepard Shepard looked around to see were the voice was coming from he saw a man in blue armor a few feet away from him he noticed he was in a white room.

"good to see your alive asshole.",said the voice "who are you.", said Shepard "me I'm fucking god bitch nah I'm just fucking with you I'm a dimensional being and I'm here to help you."said the voice "why am i here.",said Shepard " hey if you're wondering what my name is its church as to why your is here is because you're getting a second chance at saving the god damn fucking universe.",said church in a very annoyed tone.

"but i already saved the universe by destroying the reapers and all reaper synthetic's.",said Shepard church laughed then replied " is that what the reaper main intelligence told you dude that wiped out all types of synthetic's.",said church as a window of dead geth the window then showed joker sulking over e.d.i death the window closes.

" see dude not the best fucking choice is it.",said church "whats this about a second chance.",said Shepard changing back to the original subject "oh yeah since I'm such a nice guy I'm sending you back to the begging of your adventures Eden prime hell i will even change a few things i will let that Richard guy live benezia that bitch Ashley some other shit but you have to figure it out.",said church "anything else i need to know.",said Shepard.

"oh yeah almost forgot your getting a harem.",said church "why.",said Shepard "cause dude your going to be the hero of the universe got to have a harem man hey i will also do a favor for you when you get a girl into your harem their breast will get a bit bigger also if you get an old asari like benezia into your harem she will age down into to a hotter version of her self.",said church.

" I'm not sure.",said Shepard "come on you have meant tons of hot chicks and you wanted to bang them and i will give you and your harem protection from STD just think about it every chick you meant was hot and you already banged tali",said church Shepard thought for a minute "yeah your right I should have a harem.",said Shepard then Shepard disappeared "yeah bye asshole hope we never meet again time to watch some rvb.",said church.

Another person appeared behind church "hey church you know your going to have to watch him.",said the man "goddamn it.",yelled church as church started to yell very inappropriate language a lot.

**...Line break...**

Shepard woke up realizing where he was the Normandy (insert the long fucking walk to where joker talks about zipping up your zipper) "you remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way out if the bathroom that's good I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead so that's incredible." said joker.

"You're paranoid The Council helped fund this project they have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment.",said kaidan (note only using transcript only when it seems to fit but most of this story will have its own dialogue thing stuff or something) "yeah that is the official story but only and idiot believes the official story.",said a paranoid joker.

"you should stop worrying joker i bet this specter isn't all bad.",said Shepard "i don't know commander he just give me the creeps.",said joker. Anderson voice came over the comm's and said"Joker what is the status report.", "We just cleared the mass relay Captain stealth systems engaged everything looks good.",said joker "good find us a comm buoy and link us to the network I want the mission reports sent back to the Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime.",said Anderson.

" Aye Aye captain Better brace yourself Nihlus is headed your way.",said joker "Hes already here lieutenant and tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm room for a debriefing.",said Anderson "You get that Commander.",said joker "yeah i got that is it me or is Anderson seem a little piss at joker.",said Shepard "hey that's not funny.",said joker "it kind of is.",said kaidan.

Shepard walked up to Jenkins "hey Jenkins make sure you have your shields on when were on the mission.",said Shepard "thanks commander for reminding me.",said Jenkins. Shepard then walked to the comm room _that's one life saved thought __Shepard. _

**this is the first chapter going to need some beta readers**


	2. an upadate

Hey guys merry chirstmas the second chapter of mass effect the restarting is takeing a while probaly won't be up after chirstmas but I don't know depends on how fast I type I like to thank the people that have fallowed and review my story thanks for the support guys in other news shepard harems going to be big mkay I mean come on how many hot chicks are there in the mass effect universe a lot over the pass two hours how I will inclued breast expansion then I thought of something devious but you guys got wait there will be a romance sence when shepard gets a girl in his harem the order will go

Tali

Tevos-will explain this one

Liara

Benezia

Shiala

Oc

Oc

Maybe ashley

Etc

Yeah the harem is going to be big its a harem what do you expect chuck norris to comeout and say yes "heres chuck norris in distance" damn he did come

"So why will benezia and tevos be in my harem" said shepard

Um cause I'm the writer and there fucking hot and there's not a lot of storys with benzia or tevos with shepard duh dumbass

"What about stds"

Don't worry I got that figured out church will help you with that ever notice that I'm puting a lot of alien girls very litlle human girls in this story granted quarians and asari are hot but why not humans oh yeah there not badass on with biotics execpt miranada and jack might give her hair don't like her bald (sorry for the spelling) well that's all for now folks this is firestarter signing off seee you next time around kiddes time to watch the explaination of bioshock infanite


	3. let us pay respect to monty oum

I will try to get the next chapter up soon but let's us rember monty oum a man who brought us haloid dead fantisy rwby rvb a loved memebr of roosterteeth let us rember him and I will try to get the next chapter up soon again I'm sorry,singed by firestarter09


End file.
